Man was supposed to be a groomsman on his 22-year-old friend's wedding until he cancelled it and ran away with another woman, now he wants to request reimbrusement for his investments: 'I want my money back for everything I put into HIS wedding'

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jul 7, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

Frozen feet

Weddings are life-altering events; when we're getting closer and closer to them, our opinion changes, new fears arise, and we might feel called to call it quits. It seems that's what happened to this groom, who decided to run away right before his wedding, letting down everyone's expectations. Sometimes, it's okay to run away in fear, but there will come a day when you have to go back and confront everything you ran away from. It seems that he's not the type to confront at all, and he might stay on the run forever, but will his best man find a way to forgive him?

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  • man smiling wearing grey suit
    via Christian Bowen

    How the bestman imagined he was going to be the day of the wedding

    Stock photo used for editorial context. Individuals in image are models.

     

  • AITAH For Requesting Reimbursement From My Friend After He Canceled His Wedding?

    I(22M) was supposed to be a groomsman in my friend's (22M) wedding this month. We recently graduated from the same college where he met his (now-ex) fiancé. We were all in all of the same classes, and they met.
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  • during a large class first semester of junior year. Things got serious fast and, by that summer, they were engaged and beginning to plan their wedding that was supposed to happen the month after we all
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  • graduated (this June). My friend has always been super enthusiastic about this girl and their relationship. He was the driving force on them. getting engaged so quickly (and so young),
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  • and I was super excited for them when they got engaged and very honored when I was asked to be a groomsman. This was my first time being a groomsman, and I must have been a little
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  • naive about just how much of a financial investment this would end up being. After renting a suit (~$250), going on a na bachelor party in Miami (~$500 for my expenses), and a gift off their registry
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  • (-$75), we're looking at a pretty serious investment from me in this relationship. I was more than happy to cover all these costs because he has always been a close friend to me, and I really was excited to be a part of
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  • it all. However, we are were full-time students during this period of time and it stretched the wallet more than I typically would want to. With all that background, that brings us to early April
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  • of this year (6 weeks before the wedding). My friend just casually mentions to me that he ran into an old friend of ours from high school, and they had a pretty long conversation catching up. I remember him clearly just
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  • casually mentioning that she was single and still really cool. I didn't think much of it, but, looking back, that was probably a pretty serious red flag. His demeanor really didn't change much up until the week of the wedding. He
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  • didn't say anything specific about getting cold feet, but he definitely wasn't acting like his normal self, which I just accounted to nerves for the bif week. Two nights before the wedding, me, my friend, and all the other
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  • groomsman were in town together eating dinner. The wedding venue was about an hour away from the town we went to school in and all the groomsmen were sharing an Airbnb. The groom was staying with his family up until the
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  • wedding night. My friend. was basically a shell of himself. Not really talking, laughing, or joking. We called it an early night and went our separate ways. The next morning, the day of the rehearsal dinner, we get a text from my groom
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  • in the groomsman group text saying that he was really sorry, but he's not going through with the wedding. We're obviously all shocked, so the best man took the initiative on behalf of all of us to reach out and call him. I wasn't
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  • there for the call, but the best man reported back to us after the call that he was totally serious and was already on the way back to his parent's house (about an hour away from where the wedding venue was). And that was it. We
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  • all went home. In the days that followed, I tried to be a supportive friend. I sent a quick text saying I was here for him if he needed anything but never heard back. This is where things get insane
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  • and set me off. My friend and his fiancé were supposed to go on their honeymoon 2 weeks after the wedding because they were planning on moving to a new city out of state to start their careers and needed to get settled and
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  • my assumption was that they just canceled the whole thing. That brings us to last week, my friend, who has been completely unresponsive for over 3 weeks, finally texts me back. He apologizes for canceling the wedding
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  • and wasting our time and let me know he actually had gone on his honeymoon to Mexico with that girl he ran into 6 weeks before the wedding! I don't know if he had been talking to her on the down-low the entire
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  • a church with a red carpet and gold altar
    via Thomas Winkler

    The altar that scared the groom

    Stock photo used for editorial context. Individuals in image are models

  • I don’t even want to think about the bride-to-be’s experience, because getting stood up on your wedding day is one thing, but then finding out your ex-fiancé is now where you were supposed to go on your honeymoon with some other woman he just met must be completely devastating. Looking past that, and while I understand the bestman’s frustrations, I don’t understand why the scared groom should repay him for a bachelor party he attended and enjoyed; it’s not like that didn’t count or ceased to exist just because the wedding got called off. I do understand he needs a way to canalize his disappointment with his own friend’s lack of responsibility, though.

  • time since he ran into her or decided he wasn't ready to marry his fiancé and reached out to her after canceling the wedding. But to me, it didn't matter at all. Learning that he threw away everything he had
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  • built for this other girl and truly wasted everyone's time (and especially money) when he obviously wasn't ready to settle down was the final straw. I said that I didn't care what he did anymore and I want my money back for
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  • everything I put into HIS wedding. I sent him a Venmo request $850 and blocked his number. I don't expect him to pay me back obviously but just feel so frustrated with him that I don't want to be his friend anymore but still wanted to
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  • send a message. So, did I take my response too far or should I just continue calling this friendship done for good?
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  • white airplane flying
    via Reet Talreja

    The plane taking the groom and his lover to Mexico

    Illustrative image only. Object shown is not connected to this story.

  • Look, I don’t know about the money, but I do think the groom’s actions are major red flags. You are allowed to get cold feet, but if you are going to disappoint so many people, you should at least sit and talk to them (not disappear for three weeks) and wait a little while to go with your new love interest to some other place that’s not the same place you were supposed to go with your grieving ex-fianceé. How he acts towards the people that love him is what I find disturbing, and it’s something the best man should, in my opinion, observe to walk away from as soon as possible, before he acts like that towards him again.

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friendship friends toxic relationship
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